Where would our society be without Christian gift stores? They used to be called bookstores, but the real revenue is in the gifts, the trinkets, and the $5 upsells at the register. By not shopping in regular gift stores, this industry helps us change the world and stuff.
I used to work in a pretty great Christian
book gift store, so every time I visit one, I’m flooded with memories of all the wonderful things you just can’t find anywhere else. So I snapped a few pics of items you can grab for all your friends – your Christian friends, that is. Or even better, your non-Christian friends, just to start a meaningful conversation…
1. Gluten Free Communion Wafers
Just to be safe. These are free of gluten, wheat, dairy, yeast, eggs, soy, nuts, corn, and flavor.
2. A Deacon Badge
It’s like a sheriff’s badge, but with more authority.
3. Tither Envelopes
Just don’t let your left hand see your right hand putting this in the plate. An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure, after all.
Rubix had a cool idea and all, but it’s even better when solving the puzzle changes your life forever.
5. A Ticket to Heaven
These were unbelievably cheap and it wasn’t even Black Friday! Now everyone is going to want one!
For actual ideas for actual gifts, check out ChristianBook.com. (aff link)
6. Quarter Collection Boards
What a great idea! You buy 100 of these for just $56. Then, you fill each one up with quarters. They hold 40 quarters each (they’re front and back) which gives you $10. When you’ve filled them all up, you’ve got $1,000, which is enough money to buy seventeen more packs of quarter boards. When all of those are filled up, you take them to the bank and drive the teller crazy depositing them, then go buy a new building.
7. Misprinted Bibles
Sorry Christina, your botched engraving is my treasure… for 50% off!
8. Christmas Harvest Seeds
Remember the four food groups? Candy, candy canes, candy corn, and maple syrup? These are 1.) candy, 2.) colored like candy canes, 3.) definitely the exact same recipe as candy corn, but colored green and red, and 4.) not maple syrup, but made up mostly of corn syrup. So, it’s still syrup.
9. Everything VeggieTales
Let’s face it. VeggieTales is pretty much the backbone of the Christian toy industry. This is the ideal gift for people who like to talk to tomatoes.
10. The Armor of God Playset
It may be made of plastic, but this breastplate of righteousness will still protect your heart!
11. Bible Bingo
The most edgy of all the products in this store, this piece of gambling paraphernalia is actually okay because it’s Bible bingo.
If one of those ideas won’t work for the loved ones in your life, here’s a bonus idea, not found in any Christian gift store.
12. A Tiny Slot Machine
This is completely different from Bible Bingo…