This Mess Called Marriage

SchützenfestAre you happily married? If you’re smart (and you’ve been married more than two years), you’ll realize that’s a question that depends on how things are going in the moment. Am I happily married? I am today – not sure about tomorrow. But I am securely and joyfully married.

So many marriages are hanging by a spider web today because people are so stinkin’ fickle. Our commitment-level depends on our contentment-level, which depends on our sense of happiness, which is never satisfied. Circumstances change. People change. Love evolves and relationships endure different seasons. Many people get scared stiff by the unknown and sometimes begin to bail, first internally, then literally and finally.

But marriage was meant to be tough. I’m going to be blogging a little more about marriage over the next week or two because it happens to be something I’m studying quite a bit right now in my ministry for the purpose of counseling and teaching. I want to speak to both husbands and wives, and those who will be husbands and wives some day.

I want you to understand that my marriage isn’t perfect. Angie and I have been married for twelve years now and we’ve had at least three or four disagreements in that amount of time… but I feel as content and peaceful about my marriage than ever before. I want to share why and how. I’m going to write out some nuts and bolts of how to make it work in some upcoming posts, but first I want to leave you with this thought…

Your marriage can be awesome! It can sizzle. You can adore one another. You can make it to the finish line together. You two can last. Man, you CAN love your wife. Woman, you CAN respect your husband. Just don’t give up. Stay tuned…

Creative Commons License photo credit: Sweet-Things

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About the Author

I'm Brandon. I'm the Lead Pastor of Grace Hills Church in Northwest Arkansas, which my wife, Angie, and I planted in January of 2012. I previously served as a Pastor at Saddleback Church and still manage Pastor Rick Warren's online, global ministry to pastors, Pastors.com. I also lead a blog about blogging, a blog about social media, and a blog about men's issues. And I've written a book - Rewired, which challenges the church to adopt social media to spread the good news about Jesus. I sometimes take on church website design projects and I coach pastors and leaders as well. I'd love to hear from you!
3 Responses
  1. Hi Brandon –

    As a veteran of 53 years of wedded adventure, I want to contribute my take on the most important ingredient of a “happy marriage”. For me, marriage didn’t really happen until I woke up to the idea that I needed to spend my energy on making Mary’s life experience as rich and meaningful as possible, then, and only then, my own satisfactions increased exponentially.

    In hindsight, it is so easy, but to actually do that we need to discover the truth in this concept; “Love is the only thing, that when you give it away, you actually have more to give! I.E., the more you give, the more you have to give.
    Hallelujah.
    Rhys :-D
    .-= Rhys´s last blog ..What is The Evidence of The Holy Spirit =-.

    1. Brandon

      Rhys, thanks so much for adding that – it’s a good and positive challenge to all of us “young bucks” who have only been at it a dozen years or less. Thanks for your faithfulness!

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