That picture is of Samuel David, five days from fertilization. I’m writing this about twelve hours before we find ourselves at the hospital for a scheduled c-section. We’re here. There was a time when we really wondered if we’d be here.
After having Ella, we never tried not to have more children and within a year or two, we were praying for God to add more babies to the Cox household. Five years later, we were seeing specialists after an ectopic pregnancy caused Angie the loss of one fallopian tube.
We have driven to Tulsa and back (two hours, one way) at least twenty-five times in the last year and a half. Some of those trips were the most emotionally intense and exhausting moments of our lives so far. Angie had a surgery in the middle of it to “clean up” the scar tissue left behind from Ella’s birth and the tubal pregancy.
I admire Angie. In fact, this post isn’t about Samuel so much as it is how much better my wife is than me. She’s a hero.
I’ve watched her cry, heartbroken time and again after negative pregnancy tests. The last one she took seemed negative. She tossed it away and hung her head in her hands. I reached in and asked, “Well what’s this second line?” Everything changed in that moment.
I’ve also watched her carry Samuel. She moves back and forth between the bedroom and living room a time or two each night, trying to get comfortable. She has passed three kidney stones during this pregnancy (I have proof in a bag, but chose not to show a picture under threat of death from her).
I’ve watched her bow in an altar praying for others. You see, we’ve seemingly been surrounded by other couples struggling with infertility and we’ve prayed for them countless times.
She has valiantly carried him while being a great Mom to Ella in the process. I’m so proud of her!
Me? I wish I were half the hero.
We almost didn’t make it here. One weekend we drove to St. Louis to see Angie’s family. The entire drive there was spent with the two of us not sure whether to press on to the next step or not. The decision was huge and we had to make it by Monday. While at her parents’ house, we were told that both her sister and sister-in-law were expecting.
With that news, our torment over making the decision ceased, the issue was settled, and here we are. Twelve hours or so to go…
Pray for us. I have a feeling the journey is only beginning.