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A Good Monday Morning Belly Laugh List

LolMy wife sent this to me – not sure where it came from, but had to share so somebody else might have a good Monday morning belly laugh…

  1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
  2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
  3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
  4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It “In-Box.”
  5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
  6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Smuggling Diamonds.”
  7. Finish All Your sentences with “In Accordance With The Prophecy.”
  8. Dont use any punctuation
  9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
  10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is “To Go.”
  12. Sing Along At The Opera.
  13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don’t Rhyme.
  14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
  15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In The Mood.
  16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
  17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream “I Won!, I Won!”
  18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot,Yelling “Run For Your Lives, They’re Loose!!”
  19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. “Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.”
  20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity…

Creative Commons License photo credit: LizzieKue

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  1. That’s awesome! I like number 7. I actually know people like that. Thanks for the laugh.

    T. Michael Cart

    T. Michael Cart’s last blog post..Amen.

  2. LOL,
    In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write “For Smuggling Diamonds.”

    That just made my day – thanks man

    MrStrider’s last blog post..MrStrider: RT @alydesigns: RT @smashingmag: [SM] Slideshows In Web Design: When And How To Use Them:

  3. Sharon McEachern says:

    Hi Brandon —
    Thanks for the belly laugh. I especially like #5 about caffeine addiction. For a few more belly laughs about coffee addiction and having way too much caffeine, read:’ve-had-too-much-coffee.html

  4. I have read a few similar lists like these before and even forwarded them around via email but they still crack me up bigtime! Thanks for the fun!

    Caribbean Shulamite’s last blog post..Blog Happenings

  5. great! at work and trying not to laugh too much out loud. but i did forward the URL over to co-workers. very nice.

  6. You can also ask for caffeine free milk.

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