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If Your Spouse Doesn’t Love You

I said a couple of days ago, and in our midweek Bible study, that one of the hardest things I deal with is not being able to help or repair broken situations. It’s not in me, but it is in the power of God to do so. Nonetheless, there are times I face a question I just can’t answer for one who is suffering, and this one is common, “My spouse doesn’t love me.”

What’s tough is that we can’t make someone love us. That’s something even God won’t do. Love is a choice, and we can’t make choices for anyone else. Today I saw this video by John Piper answering this very question. It doesn’t solve the problem, but it’s the only answer that is appropriate sometimes…

In summary, and from my own heart… don’t ask how you can change your spouse’s heart, you can only change yourself. What is it about you that can change, realizing that there may not be anything about you that needs to change. So lean on prayer the way I mention in this posted message. And don’t hesitate to email me asking for prayer – it’s one of the reasons I’m on this earth and you are never a bother!

Coping With the Stress of Infertility

StamenWe have a beautiful six-year-old daughter, for whom we are so incredibly thankful. Our own struggle with infertility is not as harsh as that experienced by many because of her, but it’s a struggle nonetheless. We had some issues leading up to her birth and were so incredibly grateful when we were finally blessed with Ella that we gave her the middle name of Grace (God’s undeserved favor). Since having Ella, we’ve endured an ectopic pregnancy and another miscarriage and have spent nearly six years in the waiting game.

Infertility is hard – no bones about it. I don’t write or talk about it much, perhaps because of my own fear of being vulnerable in such a public way, but I have come into contact with so many people who suffer this plight that I wanted to share in the hopes that my words might educate and encourage someone else.

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Real Christians Hurt… And Show It

As Paul concluded his second letter to Timothy, he expressed some hurt. Demas had forsaken him. Alexander the coppersmith had caused him much harm. At one point, no one was willing to stand with Paul. Rejection, criticism, and abandonment hurt! The world is watching believers to see how we’re going to handle it all.

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What A Wonderful World

At our wedding, Angie and I chose to have Louie Armstrong’s song played… What a Wonderful World. In light of yesterday’s shootings, and so many other monumental tragedies in recent years, is it really a wonderful world? We were driving to Fort Smith yesterday for the annual meeting of the BMA of America and were reflecting on some of the tragedies that have taken place at this same time of the year such as the Oklahoma City bombing (April, 1995), the Waco compound burning (April, 1993), and Columbine (April, 1999). Each of these tragedies evoked emotions of fear and trepidation about living in this present world.

Our daughter begins kindergarten this fall. She’s nearly five years old and we’re already speculating about the nature of the world in which she will grow up and go through school. The news media tackles subjects like campus security and the psychological reasons behind such an awful rampage. But the secular media can never fully comprehend the nature of human depravity. Evil men will do evil things, no matter our level of security. If not on a campus, then in a restaurant, an airport, or a World Trade Center. Is this really a wonderful world?

There are natural and supernatural factors that can only be seen through a God-centered world view. The depravity of man runs deep in the heart. Evil abounds in humankind and murder, war, and bloodshed will continue as long as lost mankind has some dominion over this present realm. Further, Satan is labeled in Scripture as the “prince of the power of the air… the god of this world.” We who live on earth, live in a time and place where darkness has dominion. Is it really a wonderful world?

My answer, surprisingly, is yes. Why? Because it is in this present realm that God is actively working to extend His saving and healing grace to a lost and depraved people. It is here that God moves. It was into this humanity that Jesus, the light, came into the world. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. God’s glory was put on display through the life of Jesus Christ, through His atoning death, and through His miraculous resurrection. Do we live in a wonderful world? Only insomuch as Jesus makes the difference.

Last night, we were ministered to by a wonderful gospel singer who performed the old song Beulah Land. I love the lines… “Beulah land, I’m longing for thee, and someday on thee I’ll stand…” Our world, inundated with pain and loss and suffering, is merely a waiting room, a practice run, an incubation chamber for eternity. For those who believe in Jesus Christ as Savior, heaven is our real home. Hell awaits those who reject His free offer of grace.

Amazingly, we cannot forget that it is this world which will someday be renovated by fire. This world will be redeemed. It currently groans with birth pains, waiting to be delivered from its depraved lostness. It’s a wonderful world, plagued by the inherent sinfulness of humankind. It’s wracked with pain and evil. Yet everything on God’s time line is moving toward a great and triumphant finality. Jesus will rule and reign.

Our hearts are gripped, in times like this, with uncertainty and fear. Then Scripture speaks on behalf of its divine author… “For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7) “Casting all your care upon him, for he careth for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) “Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Is this world your home, or do you seek a city to come, a home not made with human hands preserved in the eternities for you? Jesus Christ came to be the light and hope of a lost and dark world. He came to offer you peace, pardon, and eternal life if you’ll only trust fully in Him, even in the world’s darkest moments. More is to come. Scripture foretells that times will wax worse and worse. Yet Jesus’ hand is always extended toward you. Embrace Him who is ready to embrace you, and enjoy the unspeakable peace and confidence of God.

Unquenchable Thirst

“O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.” -Psalm 63:1-2

There is a longing deep in the soul to know God, to hear a revelation from His heart. We all long to meet with our Creator, to discover Him, to develop a familial relationship with Him. This deep longing, this intense thirst, can only be satisfied with a drop of His glory and a touch of His power. Yet so often we satisfy ourselves with shallow things. We cover the top of the cavern inside rather than coming to Christ for complete fulfillment.

David’s declaration pointed out that the world had no solution, nothing to offer that could bring any true fulfillment. So he would come to God. Our unfortunate plight is that we settle for the world’s temporary substitutes. We entertain ourselves and occupy our time the best we can so as to ignore the suffering soul inside. If we can simply quench our thirst for today… if we can just fulfill our souls for another hour in some way… and all the while, Jesus, the Living Water, waits to fill our cups to overflowing.

Like the woman Jesus met at the well, we often focus on water for today while the Lord of the universe offers us total satisfaction for all eternity in Him. Why don’t you visit Him today. Come to your Creator, come to Jesus, and ask for the living water that never fails to satisfy.