Husbands are forgetful. I know this for three reasons: 1.) I’m a husband…, 2.) I’m forgetful…, and 3.) Every other husband I know is forgetful.
When someone is bold enough to change their Facebook relationship status to “It’s Complicated,” everyone else takes notice and starts speculating about what’s going on. The fact is, all of us among the human species know what it means to have complicated relationships. We’ve been in the business of making marriage, family, and friendship more complex for thousands of years, and at the root of it all is our sinful nature and selfish tendencies.
The only way to avoid the complications of relationships is to have none. We human beings need each other, so God created us with the capacity to love, to have friends, to get married, and to live in community with each other. But, as Facebook would attest, many of us would simply say of our closest relationships in life, “It’s complicated.”
Marriage is an adventure filled with up’s and down’s, unexpected changes, new opportunities, and challenges of all shapes and sizes. Most couples get into marriage with the expectation that their spouse will never change. We think the guy or girl who made promises to us on our wedding day will not only be faithful to us, but faithful to remain just the way they are.But people live through seasons. Marriages go through seasons. Men and women change. We have dreams. Then we have kids. And we have careers. We have changing preferences, new directions, and a mind that is always being conditioned by our experiences. We change. So it’s understandable if you feel disappointed today that things don’t seem to be going as expected in your marriage. So here’s something new to expect… expect things to change.
Guitars sound nice because of stress. Great guitarists know how to turn the tuning pegs just enough that all six strings are in harmony with one another and on key. But too much stress, too much tension, can stretch or break a string.
On June 14, 1997, I married Angie Kirk, the most amazing woman on earth! The last eighteen years have been an adventure. We left home to go to college together and got engaged a little over a month into our freshmen year. That next spring I started pastoring a small church and Angie went back to Kentucky for the summer to finish planning our wedding. I cruised into town just a couple of days before the big event after all the hard work was done and took my beautiful bride as my wedded wife.
The Apostle James said it best. The tongue is like a fire, or perhaps poison. When not under control, our mouths can destroy lives, especially our own. He went on to say, “If we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.” (James 3:2 NLT)
My wife is a treasure! She’s precious. In addition to all of the many personal qualities about Angie that make her awesome – such as her tender, sweet heart, charming smile and her beauty – there’s this, and it’s from the Bible…
We don’t fall out of love. We stop choosing to do things that are loving. So the way back to love is to do the loving things we did early in our relationship. And that often starts with the simple step of paying attention again. Paul challenged the believers in Philippi, “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” (Philippians 2:3-4 NLT)
Diversity and equality have been hot topics in the last decade of American life. We’re in the midst of various shifts in our culture surrounding these concepts, especially in relation to ethnicity and gender, and some of these shifts are good. When my family lived in southern California, we were ethnically not in the majority in our neighborhood, and we appreciated it greatly. Our church was home to people from dozens of ethnic backgrounds, and we loved that even more.