5 Reasons Why Men Just Can’t Win

Go Fight Win

I try. I fail. I try and fail again. Why can’t I just win? Why can’t I get this right?

I ask myself those questions a lot, but even as I ask them, I know the answers. They’re on the tip of my tongue and God’s spirit often reminds me of them right in the middle of my pity party, which is so inconvenient. And I think that, as a man, I’m not alone. All men struggle. All men have internal battles. And all men wonder if they’ll ever really win.

For your benefit and mine, for the sake of all men, let me just spill my guts about why I just can’t win. Or at least, why I don’t win when I don’t win. Reflect on how you see these in your own life.

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10 Tough Words for Men

Tough DogI’m a man. I like being a man. Men aren’t better than women, and women aren’t better than men. But we’re different. So I’ve had to do a lot of painful discovery of who I am as a man, and I’ve learned a lot, mostly from my mistakes. I’ve come to some practical conclusions about manhood and want to drop them on you so you can get back to your man things.

  • God likes men with a wild streak – not a sinful, rebellious wildness, but an “I’m gonna do some stupid-big things for God and take risks in the process” wildness. King David, the Apostle Paul, and John the Baptist were all wild men.
  • Being a wild man doesn’t mean being a wild animal. My appetites for food, entertainment, and sex are God-given, but need to be under control. “Under control” appetites are godly. Out-of-control appetites aren’t.
  • I have responsibilities. Paying the bills, serving my wife’s needs, loving my kids, and leading my family spiritually all take priority over hunting, fishing, comic books, and video games.
  • Integrity means being ONE man at home, in public, and in private. The very second I start keeping secrets from my wife, my family life is beginning a slide toward destruction. Secrets are lethal.
  • “Growing up” means being physically healthy, emotionally mature, mentally engaged, and spiritually confident. It’s not enough to be tough in half the areas of my life. I need balanced growth.
  • Strong leaders are few. In a vacuum, bad leaders will fill the void if I choose not to. So I need to show up, speak up, and lead in a culture where men are sheepishly silent.
  • Meekness isn’t weakness. It literally means “power under submission.” Jesus was meek and His tender side changed the world. I should celebrate meekness, tenderness, and affection.
  • Being mad and mean is weak. Bullying my wife or kids provokes the God who made them and assigned me the role of protecting them. Yelling at people doesn’t make me bigger. It makes me smaller.
  • Work matters a lot. Family matters more. And worship matters the most. At the end of my life, I want to look back with a clear conscience at how I lived what I said were my priorities.
  • I don’t have to drink, cuss, smoke, or chew, or run around with those who do to feel more manly. But if I want to be like Jesus, I’ll be a friend to people who drink, cuss, smoke, or chew.

There are more tough words to hear, but these ten were in my heart and I’ve shot from the hip. What would you add?


Photo by Jeff Hill Photo.

When God Makes a Man

Fathers and MothersToday is Father’s Day, and it’s a day when I get to relish in the wonderful gifts God has given to me in the form of my daughter Ella and my son Sam. Ella is one of the smartest people on the planet and she’s only eight. Sam can dance like nobody’s business and has a great belly laugh to boot. I’m proud of them!

I’m also celebrating an awesome heavenly Father. My wife makes it pretty easy to be a Dad and together we’re hoping to prepare our kids to live godly and successful adult lives. But nobody can prepare a person for maturity the way God can.

Men are all different colors and personalities. It’s what’s on the inside that really matters, and God makes all the difference on the inside of a man. Ephesians 2:10 tells us that believers are God’s masterpiece of re-creation. The world produces men of pride and arrogance or cowardice and fear, but God produces something else.

God makes men from the inside out to be different from what they used to be without Him, but He ultimately allows us to decide to become all that He intends. As Paul says to Timothy, “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT)


God Makes Men Fearless!

If you’re afraid of the dark, crowds, heights, roller coasters, or thunderstorms, that’s okay. We’re talking about spiritual intimidation. The world produces spiritual cowards, but God makes tough, fearless men who aren’t afraid to get right with Him!

God Makes Men Powerful

The world promotes the “power over people” pathway to success, but God promotes a “power under proper authority” model of success. We have a dynamic power at our disposal when we allow God to be Lord over us.

God Makes Men Loving

Just as we are not fearless or powerful on our own, so we are not naturally loving either. Yet Paul commanded husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. And he uses that amazing word “agape!” God has the power to help you to show your love and to have a genuine compassion and concern for the people around you.

God Makes Men Wise

Godly men don’t make decisions based on emotions alone, nor on circumstances, and certainly not on fanciful and fleeting dreams or visions. Rather, godly men collect wisdom from God, think level-headedly, and make decisions in the will of God because of an adherence to the truth of God!

Are you a godly man? Have you ever submitted yourself to the Potter’s hands to be molded into the kind of man God intended you to be? He wants to begin with whatever raw material you’ll offer Him and take you to maturity. I dare you to let Him!

Graphic by Mark Alvis at CreationSwap

Why Don’t Men Ask For Directions? Answered.

Can’t view it? See It On Youtube.

I’m not sure that the creators of this commercial have the actual answer to why men don’t ask for directions. What I do know is that I often don’t ask for directions for reasons of my own…

  • I just ought to know.
  • I do know… I just can’t remember… yet.
  • Who could possibly know, if I don’t?
  • If I’ve started in the wrong direction, I don’t want to know.
  • I’m just enjoying the journey.
  • There’s always another route, and I’m finding it!
  • Trust me, this is a shortcut.
  • I’m afraid to show weakness.
  • Stopping for directions will take too long and if we’re lost, we can’t waste time.
  • Asking for directions can get you maced, mugged, or made fun of.

Some of those excuses are illogical, and others irrational, but all of them have gone through the minds of men in panic.

I remember an episode of Home Improvement in which Wilson, the wise neighbor, explains to Tim that he is better with directions than his wife because men tend to have larger amounts of iron stored in their nasal cavities, which results in a stronger connection with the magnetic poles. Tim recounted this to Jill later in his own defense, proclaiming, “Look, I just have more iron boogers than you!”

When we’re just trying to get back to the main highway on vacation, this is not such a crucial issue. But when men hit real crises in their lives, these tendencies remain. So let me just give myself some advice, man-to-myself, and you can listen in…

  • You need direction.
  • God created you and He created the course you are running.
  • God put you in the path of other, often wiser men.
  • Speak up. Reach out. Dump the pride and admit your need for a Counselor sometimes.

Ask for directions.

Five Great Books for Men

I’m attempting to begin a new habit – once per week I’d like to pass on a list of five great books on some subject. I’ll try to keep it up until I run out of subjects or books I’ve read. I’ll be passing on suggestions concerning subjects such as the Holy Spirit, the Church, Leadership, Theology, etc. and even a few study Bibles.

Great Books for Men

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