Get Along With One Another

We’ve been going through the “one another’s” of the New Testament on Wednesdays at Bethel and it’s been a nice journey so far. I think the Scriptures themselves can simply break our hearts over the need for a close bond of fellowship within God’s family.

The first was “love one another,” which had to do with extending an unconditional, God-like love toward other believers as a witness to the world that we are Jesus’ disciples. Last week was “wash one another’s feet,” which emphasizes service to other believers. It’s humbling to picture Jesus stooping at our imperfect, dirty feet to cleanse us in His rich fellowship.

This week’s study is from Romans 12:10 in which Paul says, “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another.” I think it’s a challenging admonition. Loving and serving are tough, but this one is equally tough because it requires us to give up so much of our selfishness. I think there are three key ideas conveyed.

1. Have a family-like affection toward other believers. It’s popular to say that we’re required to love people, but not to like them. Well Paul, I think, would disagree. It’s challenging at times, but we are commanded to strive to like one another and to show it. I used to think that agape love was higher and greater than phileo/philadelphia love. Now I realize it’s just another, radically difficult dimension of what real godly love looks like.

A family-like affection really goes to our willingness to go out of our way to relate to one another and to show some sign of endearment. It’s almost like the outworking of loving one another. The old song says, “If you’re happy and you know it and you really want to show it…” Well, this verse says, “If you love God’s people and you know it and you really want to show it, show it by brotherly love.”

2. Place a high value on others. The phrase “in honor” means, “with high value…” How do we value people? I think we follow the John the Baptist model. He decreased while Jesus increased. This was not only a statement about two competing movements, but a statement about personhood. I must de-elevate myself and elevate others.

To value people requires a whole lot more than saying, “I value people.” It means demonstrating just how much value we assign to a person. We should rather say, “I value you so much that I’ll…” You fill in the blank, but almost always it will require a sacrifice or an investment of either time, money, or attention.

3. Give way to the preferences of others. This one’s the toughest of all. One of my concerns about my own church is that often preferences get in the way of ministry and worship. We cling to our way of doing things and hang on to our preferences with a tight grip.

There’s nothing wrong with preferences. I like sardines and my wife can’t even look at them. She likes sweet potatoes and I don’t even want to smell them. Some like one kind of music and others like another. Some like one style of teaching or preaching over another. Some like a certain pew, a certain parking spot, or a particular decor.

The thing about preferences is, however, that our preferences are different from doctrinal convictions that are grounded in absolute truth. But when our preferences are threatened, we turn them into convictions and defend them, sometimes at the expense of others. But brotherly affection and love requires us to lay down our preferences on a sacrificial altar and exchange them for the joy of getting along with fellow members of God’s family.

In my tenure as a Pastor, this is one of the toughest teachings to get across - that our preferences must be laid aside for the preferences of others at times. But this is selfless, sacrificial, and Christlike.

So I challenge you, as Paul in God’s Word did, get along with one another!